Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Maniacal Menopause

I was recently reading a blog called Flowing to Fifty (flowingtofifty.wordpress.com) about menopause.  She had a list of symptoms that most women experience as they're coming to the end of their reproductive years.  As I read through her inventory, I realized I have everyone of them.  No wonder I feel like I'm losing my mind.  So here are a few of the symptoms I've been experiencing:


  1. Hot Flashes:  I started getting these a year ago.  One minute I would be fine, the next I would be sweating profusely.  Black Cohosh has nipped them in the bud.
  2. Night Sweats:  I wake up several times every night HOT.  I throw the covers off only to be cold five minutes later.
  3. Irregular Periods:  This just started.  I had a period that lasted 11 (count them) days and then 2 days later I started spotting, which lasted for two weeks.  Now I'm 2 weeks late.
  4. Loss of Libido:  No comment.  My daughters read this blog and while parents being affectionate is cute, the occurrence of the words "parents" and "sex" in the same sentence is repugnant. 
  5. Moodiness:  This is the only one I don't have.  Although, there sure are a lot of annoying people in this world.
  6. Sleep Disorders:  I wake up every night between 12:00 and 1:00 a.m.  I figure I might as well go to the bathroom as long as I'm awake.  Then add the night sweat problem and my husband's snoring to it and I sleep miserably most of the time.                                                  
  7. Difficulty concentrating:  I've feel like I've developed ADHD in the last couple of years.  I have to read things two and three times to get it.
  8. Memory Lapse:  Recently, I was at a coworker's home for a party and when I got home, I noticed I had something on the front of my sweater.  Did I go to the party like that?  The next day I asked her and she said, "Don't you remember?  You leaned into some food and my friend tried to brush it off."  Now you think I would remember some stranger brushing off the front of my sweater. I had no recollection of it.  Scary.
  9. Weight Gain:  I've always had a small waist, but recently, I've gotten much wider in my midsection.  I've read that abdominal fat cells produce estrogen and so as our ovaries produce less, we put on abdominal fat to make up for it.
  10. Incontinence:  I'll just say this, I don't need Depends yet.

I know this will eventually pass.  In the meantime, I'll just have to eat chocolate.



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